Question: Dear Laura, I know that premarital sex is wrong, but if I know that my long-term boyrfriend is the person I want to marry, is it still wrong? What if people are engaged and sexually active?
Reply: Hi! Thank you for writing to me! I am grateful for your question! You are not alone in your query. So many girls will benefit from what we get to learn from God together! Thank you for initiating the conversation.
YOU actually answered the question for yourself. It's just doubt has been inserted where you know TRUTH resides. Sex was creted by God for marriage - not dating - not for engagement. This isn't a cultural thing - this is a Creator God thing. One man, one woman - become one flesh in their covenant commitment to one another in life. From this bond comes children - God willing! - who are the fruit of that covenant. Please let me direct you to some Scripture to encourage you with what you know is TRUTH - God's Spirit - speaking to your heart.
I Corinthians 7:1-2, 8-9 "Now concerning the things about which you wrote, (the Corinthians had writte to the apostle Paul about remaining abstinent...funny! that's what you're writing about! Let's keep reading!) it is good for a man not to touch a woman. BUT because of immoralities, each man is to hav ehis own wife (not fiance, not girlfriend - the Greek word here is the word used in reference to marriage, which is why it is translated as wife) and each woman is to have her own husband. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. (Paul was not married when he wrote this. Let's jump to verse 9) But if they do not have self control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
Sex is for marriage...for so many beautiful, intelligent,safe, wise reasons that God has set in place for us as His children. His Word over our lives is heart, soul, mind, and body protection for us - His kids - and also protection for those we choose to love in this lifetime. What love from our Heavenly Father!
May I encourage you for a second??? I get that maybe you have already had sex....It's not too late to set your heart on honoring God with your choice not to. See - our choice to have sex outside of marriage - it's all about us...isn't it? I mean, it was for me anyway... I wanted to have sex for me - my good - ya know? I wanted to have sex to show my boyfriend my love for him...DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! LOVE is soooooo N.O.T. not, not, NOT sex. Let me say that again. Love is not sex. Sex is an expression of INTIMACY in marriage - and Woman, hear me out on this - puhlease hear me. Our enemy, yup - callin' him out...Satan - will do everything in his power to get you into bed before you are married - and to keep you out of it once you are. He wants you to doubt God's Word. (Genesis 3 - "Did God really say..."??? - the oldest question he still uses!) Trust me on this one. Our enemy hates God's best for us - but MORE than that - he hates our realization of it...because when we get God's Word over our lives is true - we will not live apart from it.
What you and I need to get in our heart right now, is that the purpose of sex is established by God - not us. When we make sex, or anything in this life, about us - our decsion will only cause us havoc, doubt, unrest - like you're experiencing right now - and our choice for SELF - will cause contempt in our relationship(s). Check me on this by checking God's Word. Adam and Eve, Cain and Able, King David, Judas Iscariott - check anyone who chose self over God...HAVOC!
But listen, here is something so cool for you and I! We always have an AWESOME opportunity to choose God's Word over our life. You can make a choice for God - His Way - not yours. Check it! "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24. THAT is God's way...not the world's way - not the apostle Paul's way - not even my way for you...It's God's way. He will belss you when you choose Him - His Word - over your own understanding. I can promise you that - because He promised first! "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your onw understanding. In all your ways aknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
STRAIGHT!!! Straight means...DOUBT free! yuh-huh. I know. So so good, right?
I'm with you in having to STOP living our own way to choose God's. I'm right there with you. It's a daily deal, friend. One I LOVE that God directs us to out of love for Him - and love for others. It's not a drag - a drudgery - it's an exhale PEACE living - God loving - realization that is a gift of God's Spirit to us. You feel that call in the midst of doubt. You do... Doubt is your first clue that you need to seek God for His TRUTH.
Please know that God is not mad at you. (In our sin, Christ died for us! Romans 5:8~Huge grace to our messed up hearts! Huge "I LOVE YOU!" grace!) He's waiting for you with open arms. You have the opportunity to learn something of HIM, His Word, HIS LOVE! and He knew this lesson would be in your life. It is a beautiful one. And it's not too late! You can do this. You were made to glorify God! Psalm 139! He will make you able - and not only that - He will bless you immeasurably for your choice of Him. Know you are prayed for. Know you are loved!
Psalm 119:32 "I run the way of your commands, for you ahve set my heart free."